I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
