make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
