i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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