Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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