Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
