Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
