I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
