she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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