New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
