Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
