That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize