well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
