I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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