Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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