Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
