Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
