Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
