Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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