The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
