And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
