so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
