I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
