i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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