weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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