and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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