Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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