There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
