i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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