nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
