I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i will never coherently bang her
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
