Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
