im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
