are you still at the devil's house?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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