It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
