i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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