why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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