Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
