The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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