she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
