I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
