being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
