But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
