Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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