I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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