I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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