is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
are you so shy because you have an std?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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