You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
