Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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