What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
