so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
