I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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