he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
