You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
