so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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