You smell like stripper and shame
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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