Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
