Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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