Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
