I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize